Rated R for Rant.
7:05. Wake up and drive Katae to Berea Courthouse for her internship. Well, she drives there. I drink my joe.
8:30. Get home. Have 2nd cup of coffee and read Bible, eat breakfast, read emails, yell at kids.
10:00-11:00. Take boys to the orthodontist where we try to get school done. Gabriel gets spelling done between xrays.
11:30. Josh arrives 30 minutes early for his testing; I’ve got a mouth full of deep fried cheese-bean quesadilla. Kids work independently (I love that word) while I administer his test.
1:30. Josh finishes his testing. Way to go! 🙂
2:00. Take Josh’s test and Gabriel to my post office (ahhh, post office… how do I love thee?). I leave the test there, but take Gabriel on to the library. The questions about whether or not Gabe is “fragile, liquid, perishable, or potentially hazardous,” throw me, as he’s all of those things. Now I know: he’s unshippable.
2:30. Stopped by my neighbor on my way home from the library to talk about some heavy things. Not the weather. Not just “fine-thank-you-how-are-you?” We talked until the rain drew him away from me. Gabe sat in the back seat, engrossed in his recently checked-out Captain Underpants the whole time.
Me: Did you hear what I was talking about?
Gabe: No… what?
Gabe: (desperate b/c he senses a secret) What??
Me: Nothing. Just old people stuff.
3:00. Finally begin the complicated math lesson with Gabe I absolutely have to do, as it’s a new concept he can’t just teach himself.
3:01. (not joking) The phone rings. I ignore it. Have I mentioned I always ignore my landline?
3:05. (not joking) The doorbell rings. I say to Gabe, “Tell your friends you’re still wor–“
“It’s a big person,” Gabe interrupts, crestfallen.
(sigh) It’s my neighbor again. With an umbrella. He tells me I never answer my phone. We talk a while longer because I value relationships more than math. Yes. I value relationships more than math. Yes. I do. Gabe sits listening for something juicy because of our conversation before. Nothing gives.
3:20. Gabe & I begin math. Again. I do some actual school: checking, teaching, coaching. Luke’s history notes need coaching, but he resists my attempts to show him what adequate note-taking looks like. After we sort out the 13th & 14th Amendments to the Constitution and learn some cool facts about the “Radical Republicans,” who fought for the rights of blacks after the Civil War, I’m getting in the groove when…
4:15. My timer goes off, which means for Tory it’s time to make the Donuts. I take Luke with us, because after I drop Tory at Dunkin, Luke needs to be at his FLL club. Gabe stays home and plays with the neigborhood kids.
5:00. Drop Luke at FLL club.
5:09. Pick up Katae at the courthouse.
5:45. Get home for crockpot dinner and admonish Gabe to eat his chunk of meat.
6:40. Leave to pick up Luke and friends from FLL club. On the way home from what feels like a marathon of driving, Luke tells me he needs help with his algebra lesson. There are a few things that make me want to drive off a cliff. Non-understood algebra lessons are on that list.
7:55. Begin hated algebra lesson. It isn’t so bad after all.
8:05. Take Abbott for a much-needed walk (not sure who needs it more– him or me). Bob asks if I’d like a partner (besides Abbott). Yes! We have a lovely walk while I rant about my day.
8:50. I leave a bit late to pick up Tory from Dunkin Donuts, so I speed accordingly. I am exhausted– can’t wait to get home and curl up in my cozy bed.
9:03. Sit in the parking lot of Dunkin and watch the many, many people who–amazingly– order donuts and coffee at this late hour.
9:07. Receive this text from Tory: I don’t get off till ten just FYI
9:08. My response: Telling me that at 9 isn’t working 4me.
9:10. Wonder what I can possbily do to redeem these minutes? Dishes are at home, crusty and piled; my computer, my work is there too. All the stores I’d like to browse (ie, Volunteers of America, Goodwill) are closed. I start praying about how not to lose character (ie, yell my head off) over this pathetic waste of my time. MY time, right? God reminds me it’s His time. I pray for truth in the inner person, truth in my relationships, truth about God and many other things. God brings to mind one practical thing I can do at 9:26 at night: Walmart.
9:35. Arrive at Walmart and buy a birthday gift for Gabe’s friend. I pray my way around the aisles, looking for the perfect gift that won’t offend, won’t cost a ton, etc. I find a stomp rocket for $12.94. Sold.
9:57. Back at Dunkin. More people ingesting sugar and caffeine just before bedtime.
10:04. Tory gets in the car. “Hi.” She says sweetly.
“Are you kidding me?” Not sweet.
10:25. Tory & I arrive home. Alive. We still love each other. A little miscommunication that iced my cake-of-a-day, is all.
10:30. Snuggle down in my comfy bed. zzzzzzz
11 thoughts on “Car Wars: Driving Through the Dark Side”
Hahaha!! Thanks for the laugh – I can so totally relate. Loved this, “The questions about whether or not Gabe is “fragile, liquid, perishable, or potentially hazardous,” throw me, as he’s all of those things. Now I know: he’s unshippable”.
Thanks, Nancy! I love Gabe too much to ship him, but I thought it was fun that he doesn’t meet the post office requirements. 🙂
On Tue, Oct 1, 2013 at 8:38 PM, kellygriffiths
Super nice. When I finish it, I’ve got a great book I should give you–sermons based on the Book of Job. 🙂 No, really. Seriously. When I’m done with it, mid-Oct. it’s yours.
What’s the title if you don’t mind sharing? Sounds interesting.
Yay! I can’t wait to read it… how fun would it be to get our old group together for a reunion?
On Tue, Oct 1, 2013 at 9:54 PM, kellygriffiths
Algebra makes me wanna drive off a bridge too so don’t worry- your not alone. 🙂
er- cliff. 😉
cliff… bridge… whatever works. 🙂
On Wed, Oct 2, 2013 at 5:31 PM, kellygriffiths
this was great and funny. Also I don’t know how to get to your other page.
Click on the title. It should take you there. Then scroll down until you get to the comment box. 🙂