I haven’t posted in a while. And I’ll warn you, this is all over the place, but I’m working on giving up my perfectionistic tendencies. Join me in a little wandering.

Mr. Holland’s Opus came to mind today. The movie about a man who thinks his greatest gift to humanity will be a symphony he’s labored a lifetime over. The reality is Mr. Holland’s greatest gift is his passion for music and the impact it has on his students and colleagues over the years.

Great message for a trying-to-get-agented writer who also teaches, eh?

One of my students thanked me for teaching, said the class inspired her. She inspires me, too, with her thought-provoking comments and moral high ground of untested youth. Not every student realizes how important they are. I remember when I was in one of twenty-odd desks, slumped over, not enough sleep, what-do-I-have-to-do-to-get-my-A? I never considered the body in the front of the room as human, as having feelings. It never occurred to me that the person with all the answers could be nervous. Even in college when I began to doubt the teacher’s omniscience, I still figured she had special teacher armor that protected her from awkward silences, rudely-chattering students, and generalized academic ennui.

My son’s AP Human Geography teacher made this funny comment. It makes the writer in me smile and the mom in me glow with pride. He said: Gabe is Sisyphus pushing the boulder up the mountain. The boulder is the class GPA, and you all are gravity. I tell Gabe to thank his teachers, to answer questions if he knows the answer. Why, oh why would you NOT answer the question if you know the answer??? Answer: because you don’t want to be called Sisyphus for the rest of the year.

Here’s a confession. I haven’t blogged for a loooooong while because I’ve lost my way, in terms of who I’m speaking to. Some posts- okay most posts- are me, talking to myself. Some posts are my poorly-veiled rants about the world. Not a good idea in this climate. Also, I’m deep into my third novel. It’s consuming me, and I hope it will consume beta readers, then an agent and editor.

One of the most impactful things to happen to me was joining Horror Writers Association. I sought out and was paired with an amazing mentor. I could cry when I think of how much she’s taught me. She gives me deadlines and tells me hard truths about what’s lacking in my manuscript. And she encourages me and breathes life into the brittle bones of my writer’s heart. Because the fact is, creatives of all kinds often feel like Sisyphus pushing the boulder up the mountain. The boulder is the art. Cool book about that is The War of Art.

I am Mr. Holland. Everyone is, which is why the movie is so enduring. We all impact people around us for better or worse while we’re busy doing what we imagine is the “important work.” I get a weekly email from James Clear, author of Atomic Habits (which I’ve raved about before). I’ll end with one of the quotes from this week’s email:

“Most of us spend a lot of time censoring everything that we see and hear. Does it fit with our world picture? And if it doesn’t, how can we shut it out, how can we ignore it, how can we challenge it? We are continually threatened in life, it’s true. But once you are alone with a book, and it’s also true with a picture or with music, all those defenses drop and you can enter into a quite different space where you will learn to think differently about yourself.” – Janette Winterson

Yes. And double-yes. This is a world and we are a people who need more than ever to enter into uncharted spaces where we can learn to think differently. Think of a subject you feel strongly about. Would you consider reading a book or listening to someone who believes the polar opposite of you? Because information today comes via an IV drip of we-feed-you-more-of-whatever-you-already-believe from YouTube, Facebook, and Twitter. Or whichever camp of the news wars you side with. You won’t be given a door to enter a space where you will learn to think differently. You must seek it for yourself.

I’d love to hear about how you are a Mr. Holland, or how your opus is coming along, or how you enter different spaces where you learn to think differently…