My latest therapy appointment centered on my writing journey. A surprise to me because I consider myself The Little Engine that Could chug chugging up the hill. Who has time to consider how one feels about gravity? The forces of nature aren’t going anywhere, anytime soon. Focusing on emotions in the middle of the journey is a butt-kicking cardio workout and somebody calls. You pick up the phone (which is dumb), and you can’t breathe to make words. That’s where I am in my writing. I finished the first “final” haha draft of Never Mind. Being the third novel, I know this is the end of the beginning, as opposed to the beginning of the end. Beta readers, please feel welcome to knock down my door.
My therapist asked why I don’t just publish my books. They’re complete, after all. This made me squirm. I have many author friends who self-publish, and I admire them and their work. Her questions are a little like the spectrum probe you get shoved up your- okay, they make me uncomfortable, her questions. This one led us to: Kelly’s bar for achievement is in Cloud City. I’m not proud of that right now. My first thought was: And you can imagine how this manifests in my children, can’t you? One of them gets mad when he gets a 99%. The other gets mad when he works harder than necessary for a 93%. (Any percent over the A threshold is a waste of time, see?) And my grown girls: Rosie-the-Riveters.
I explained to my therapist, the only way for my writing to reach anybody was to get an agent and get published by one of the big four publishing houses. I don’t need to be Stephen King or JK Rowling. I just want a little paycheck. I’d take minimum wage, I so love the writing life. Isn’t that the most reasonable American Dream you’ve ever heard? All I want is this teensy tinesy little thing. With a white picket fence and a dog. A rescue of course. And pizza every Friday night. Wine. A fire pit. Mitchell’s ice cream that doesn’t end up on my hips and actually, I do want to be on the New York Times Bestseller List.
Her response: publish your book. Mine: no way. Then she told me about the starfish. Maybe you’ve heard of it.
A boy walked along the seashore at high tide. A school of starfish had washed up and were scattered all over the beach. As he went along, the boy picked up starfish after starfish and tossed them back into the sea. An older man came along and asked him what he thought he was accomplishing. “There are thousands of starfish,” he said, “You’re barely making a dent. Do you think it matters?” The boy flung one into the waves and answered, “It matters to this one.”
As you can imagine, I cried. I want this tattooed on me. This speaks to the teacher in me, the mom, the friend. To whatever good I can do for my husband. As for my book, I’m not changing course, but she’s shifted my focus away from the grand.
KL Griffiths 
Love this Kelly.
xoxo. I enjoy watching your journey, too!
Kelly, Just because some publishing house pats you on the head and says atta-girl does not guarantee the NYC Bestseller list. If you write about a trans genders, cross dressers, lesbians, and Christian haters you might have a chance. It’s what they are looking for today. It’s the readers who should be your judge. Self publish, do an audibles for your books, and you will get a paycheck, darlin’. You have put in copious amounts of hours, days, weeks, months, and years of work. Stop torturing yourself and reap the benefits of it all. Do you enjoy getting rejected? I know I didn’t, and I get a paycheck every month. It isn’t huge but it’s the readers who validate me. They are the only ones who count. You know I love ya!
Famous authors who self-published. – #1 John Grisham
– #2 EL James – #3 Robert Kiyosaki – #4 Lisa Genova – #5 Wayne Dyer – #6 Irma S. Rombauer – #7 Andy Weir – #8 Beatrix Potter – #9 Mark Twain – #10 Stephen King – #11 Vince Flynn – #12 Jack Canfield – #13 Tom Clancy Just to name a handful.
Wow, friend. I think YOU need to write a blog post! So much passion and information in one comment. I always appreciate your perspective. 🙂
Wonderful encouragement to writers… and readers alike. Thanks
My pleasure. Had to share the starfish!
Thanks for the encouragement. I get asked that regularly. “Why don’t you self-publish?” The answer is a bit complicated, as you know! The starfish story is a good word!
Yes on the starfish. Lots of people know that story, apparently. But not me.
The story on which I currently labor is my all time favorite and I hope to have your self-publish or hawk it to the universe dilemma before my next birthday.
OH YAY! Glad you’re getting to the beginning of the end, too. What’s it about? I’m seeing Station Eleven elements, based on what I know about you.
I started writing it to fictionalize my ongoing bike riding lessons for Hereen G. with whom I share them daily.
I moved the year to 1970, the locale to NYC and made the characters…
…fascinating.
There are sub plots.
Bella, er STELLA Abzug is in the story, Charles Ponzi is too. My Dad (“Carl Kanal”) is referenced but does not appear.
You get the gist.
BTW- my characters have and use a larger vocabulary than do I.
They also rarely end sentences in prepositions (it IS 1970) but frequently in propositions. (SPOILER ALERT Brazing B. Bossin is a sex addict. You can read why.)
I’m up to ~150 pages headed to????
Story starts 07/07/70 and will go through at least 08/08/70.
There are many similarities between blogging and self-publishing a novel; however, as for this blogger, I can say I will never self-publish my novels. It’s just not what I want for my work. But it’s great for others, depending on the genre, audience, the platform the writer has–and the time and patience to be publisher, marketer, agent, pr guru, and everything else rolled into one. You just have to know you. Your therapist has wonderful advice–I love the starfish analogy. But, that said, publishing is a tricky beast.
Hey…you’re right. I didn’t think about blogging. It IS self-publishing. Little pieces as opposed to the 80K words I’ve been playing with for a year. And we are on the same frequency, my friend. Looking forward to swapping with you soon. xoxo