Recently, I read an article that revealed a particular form of procrastination that mimics responsibility. And guess what? I do it. Maybe you do, too.
Here’s the thing.
I am NOT guilty of cyberloafing, and I recently became that person who divorced Facebook and am now living under a rock, socially speaking. I write and work out almost every day (barring personal catastrophes), and I overuse the modifier busy to describe myself. So does everyone who knows me.
But it’s true. I am busy. I don’t watch TV. I don’t binge-watch Netflix (except Tiger King, because Tory begged me to, so I watch it while riding my bike). See? Does that not sound like Captain Responsible? I am a writer, after all. If I’m going to procrastinate, it’s going to be fresh and original. No clichés.
Between the article and the motivational video playing in the background, I learned this: If I’m going to beat my particular procrastination problem, I have to be willing to overextend myself, to decide to live some portion of my day uncomfortable. I’m a baby when it comes to two things: sleep and food. I always say I’m not a morning person. But I’m no night owl, either. I get stuff done in the mid-afternoon, with eight hours of sleep and a full belly. Kelly can’t possibly work out first thing in the morning on an empty stomach. Kelly also can’t eat first thing because she has to start her day with not one, but two cups of coffee. Non-negotiable. And they must be sipped, slowly, while reading her Bible. By the time the caffeine ritual is complete, Kelly’s stomach is a cavernous maw that must be filled with food. Comfortable food. Not healthy food. Then she must wait for it to digest before she exercises. By the time Kelly is in a comfortable state to work out or even write, it’s almost lunch.
Notice the third person? That’s a writerly device to distance oneself from unpleasant truths.
My way of doing things (being efficient in the early afternoon) was not checking off my boxes, so I decided to try a new habit. Today is day #2 of me exercising on an empty stomach. I hear the violins. You feel sorry for me, don’t you? My husband can run ten miles and then lift weights and do this ridiculously agonizing abs video on an empty stomach. But that’s him. For me, it’s a stretch. It’s deciding to be uncomfortable for a portion of my day.
Here is how I procrastinate in my fresh, artistic way: I do (possibly necessary) tasks that aren’t as hard or boring as the ones I know I really should do.
See how that can look so responsible? I am doing things that need to get done. Just not the ones I don’t want to do. I am undisciplined in my mind. My emotions (and my belly) are deciding whether or not to exercise or write or grade papers. It’s because I don’t have to show up at an office (or get paid) that I can procrastinate in this way. No one is telling me when to work out. Or write. Or clean the toilet. You see how unpleasant things can fall to the bottom of the list? Over and over, until the bathroom inspires the latest horror story, and the son gets a fearful gloss in his eyes when he has to take a shower. He wants to ask me to clean it, but he knows he has working arms and legs, too. What a conundrum.
Do you do those things that have to be done but aren’t as hard or boring as the ones you need to do? There are always things that can be done. Are you doing what should be done? The order in which you do your day matters. Wish me luck for day #3 not procrastinating!
KL Griffiths 
Yeah I can relate to this. I often don’t even clean my apartment because doing that will ‘infringe on the time I spend reading.’ I hear both the voices of the mop and that of Shirley Jackson or Scott Fitzgerald or Umberto Eco, and I wonder if I sacrifice intellectual growth for aching arms and groaning shoulders! Reading helps me get the inspiration I need when I write at night (I am a night owl). As far as exercise is concerned, I used to play football (soccer) and stay fit, but these days I’m growing a beard, a paunch and my cheeks are getting chubby. I’ll hit the gym once the lockdown is lifted, but I wonder if things will ever be normal again. I know this is a little different from what you had in mind, but I thought I’d share.
This is EXACTLY the sort of comment I like to hear! It’s nice to know I’m not the only one opting to care for my mental space over my physical one. Ha! The house will always be dirty, but the book…it may not be there, waiting to be read. Ok, so it will. Still. What do the ads for Merry Maid say? Life’s too short to clean your house. They say “your OWN house.” But it holds true. Life’s too short for cleaning. Will things ever be normal again? I believe we’ll emerge into a new “normal.” Will it be better? We’ll see. I miss human contact, and masks creep me out. Zoom meetings make spontaneous conversation hard. Everything clunks. But we must carry on. I don’t feel “together” in this coronavirus. One friend said we’re not in the same boat, just the same storm. I kind of like that image. It feels truer. Glad to hear from you, Nitin.
I tend to be pretty disciplined. I like a schedule. But I’m floundering and still trying to find my new normal in this lock-down. I’m glad I’m not the only one!
Being scheduled, I bet you’re doing great, all things considered. 🙂
I’m wishing you lots of luck! This all sounds very familiar, really. With kids, I think there’s always a way I can make myself feel like I’m getting a lot accomplished even if it’s not the most important things. I never procrastinate when it comes to my work, but my creative stuff–definitely. And this whole isolation thing is making me feel anxious and disjointed, so I only seem to have enough concentration for one thing a day. Here’s to making it the right thing! Keep us posted on your anti-procrastination progress! I need tips!
I liked how you referred to yourself as the “ring leader.” You are keeping a happy, loving home. I can tell. It comes through in your writing.
Love the way you’ve written this! Funny and true: “Notice the third person? That’s a writerly device to distance oneself from unpleasant truths.”
You know where I got that, Bejamin? One of my favorite essays entitled “Superman and Me” by Sherman Alexie. It’s worth a read. https://www.umsl.edu/~alexanderjm/SupermanandMebyAlexie.pdf
That was an awesome essay Thanks for sharing with me! I would’ve never come across that on my own!
Slow and Steady wins the race!
Great post.
Thanks! 🙂
Wow thats so relatable! I am a big procrastinator. I choose to help my friends over cleaning, or something similar, but I hope you are doing better then I am!
You’re making the right choice, Morgan! It’s great to hear from you. I hope you’re writing though…don’t procrastinate on that! 🙂
Thank you Mrs Griffiths! Yes I missed not being in your class this past semester, but I hope it was good! I’ve been trying to write. I actually have a blog on here with Caroline and another friend of ours that likes to write also!